Wake Up and Smell the Humans by Sean Crawley

Thank you, The Fiction Pool.

The Fiction Pool

He was a lot older and drank too much. But there was no doubting his passion and sense of fun. Plus, he owned a house or six.

She was young and beautiful, legs up to the sky. But she had a brain. Plus, she was a renter with no hope of getting into the housing market.

His invitation to Paris didn’t require much thought.

They stayed the night before at the airport hotel. He ordered oysters and champagne and wore a purple G-string when he answered the door to room service. The young girl attendant was not amused. People were such prudes.

One dozen oysters and ten thousand bubbles later, the night duty manager appeared at the door to inform them that a complaint had been registered.

“Thanks for the update captain. Please duly note my attire.” He did a pirouette. “See? No genitalia visible.”

“Enjoy your stay Mr and…

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